Angels and alcohol (revised with comments included)
It was 10 years ago today that I heard the voices. They were feminine voices that I understood clearly, but hadn't heard before. One said, "Okay, it's time to go" but the other one asked, "what about this one?" The last thing I heard the first one say was, "this ought to take care of him" and I instantly had a cramp in my calf that felt as if it was secured firmly in a vise while someone took a sledge hammer to it. Over the previous 72 hours I got about 4 hours of sleep, but I was suddenly very, very awake.
Three days prior to that I received a phone call that my Father was dieing and that I should quickly get on a plane if I wanted to see him one last time while he was still alive. By the time I got down to Southern California, he was already in the comatose state he would stay in until he passed away. For the next three days, I barely left his bedside. Actually, all of our Family was there and those turned out to be very special days. The days obviously turned into nights and it was then that the rest of my Family would go home before returning the next morning. My home at the time was in Northern California, so I just spent the evenings in the hospital with my Dad.
There was what turned out to be one humorous night when at about 3 in the morning, a nurse came in and said that it was time, and that I might want to consider calling my family back to the hospital. I called them all in, and we all sat around and cried, prayed, and waited....and waited...and waited. Nothing happened that night or that day and we all got a good laugh out of Pop's false alarm.
By the next day, my lack of sleep was catching up with me. Since another brother stayed that night in the hospital with me and my Dad, I decided to close my eyes for a little bit. Probably about an hour into my shut-eye is when I heard the voices. The cramp in my calf woke me up just in time to hear my Dad gasping for his last breath. I got to hold his hand and tell him I love him in his final moments on earth. I should have slept right through it, but instead something woke me so I could be with my Dad during his last seconds alive.
The voices were distinctly feminine but there were no women in the room and prior to me waking up, nobody was saying anything. I'm sure there are a million logical reasons I could explain away those voices and the happenings of that morning. I was tired. I already admitted that I got very little sleep the prior three days. I must have been dreaming or maybe even hallucinating. Or, maybe...just MAYBE...the voices I heard were Angels. I know some of you are thinking, "Wow, shocker, the Jesus freak thinks he heard angels." However, I wasn't a Jesus freak then, I was an agnostic. So, I did what agnostics (and some Jesus freaks) do, and got stinking drunk.
It wasn't like we pulled out a flask right after my Dad passed away. Our entire family came to the hospital and we all mourned the loss of my Dad. However, eventually you've gotta leave the hospital. One of my brothers thought he'd feel better if he had a drink and wanted to know if my wife and him wanted to join him. Maybe it was just to provide him company, but we accompanied him to the local sports bar which was just opening for the day as we got there. One beer led to another, and then it led to pitchers of beer...multiple pitchers. We watched a college football game, and then another, and then the night game. There was a big boxing match that night and the bar staff was charging everyone additional money to stay for the fight. They knew that we just lost our Dad and just let us stay so we ended up also seeing a good fight that day.
For as many brain cells as I killed that day, I also learned something: the world doesn't care if you lose a loved one, as it is going to continue on. It sounds obvious, but when you are actually in the moment, it doesn't feel obvious. I'm not sure exactly what I wanted people to do, but it seems that considering I just lost my father a few hours ago, they should have done something, but they didn't. So I shared some memories with my brother, held my wife a little tighter than usual, contemplated whether I had heard angels that morning, and had another beer.
Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation? Hebrews 1:14
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I don't usually include the comments on the actual post, but these comments make a whole lot more sense in reference to this post vs. standing alone.
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Tim (brother in CA):
I was in the room and what Tom didn't mention is woke up yelling OW, OW, OW, and we looked at him and asked Tom's what's wrong and why are you yelling, he just grabbed his leg and kind of ignored us and went over to my Dad. Within 30 seconds, my Dad took his last gasp of a breath and then flat lined. After experiencing it, I knew Tom had stopped believing in God and I always felt like it was my Dad giving him a good kick in the shin to say "What are you thinking? All that I've taught you and the way we've lived are lives and been so blessed in so many ways and you are going to stop believing, wake up you FOOL."
Cheers to you Dad, it worked. Tom has changed his ways and is now a believer again.
Rhonda (Nurse in TX)
Very cool. I have stood in many hospital room and known that I was standing on hallowed ground with angels all around. How many times have people woke up for an unresponsive state to talk to noone in the room. Scotty's own grandmother did. Nurses know this, no matter their spiritual compass.
Three days prior to that I received a phone call that my Father was dieing and that I should quickly get on a plane if I wanted to see him one last time while he was still alive. By the time I got down to Southern California, he was already in the comatose state he would stay in until he passed away. For the next three days, I barely left his bedside. Actually, all of our Family was there and those turned out to be very special days. The days obviously turned into nights and it was then that the rest of my Family would go home before returning the next morning. My home at the time was in Northern California, so I just spent the evenings in the hospital with my Dad.
There was what turned out to be one humorous night when at about 3 in the morning, a nurse came in and said that it was time, and that I might want to consider calling my family back to the hospital. I called them all in, and we all sat around and cried, prayed, and waited....and waited...and waited. Nothing happened that night or that day and we all got a good laugh out of Pop's false alarm.
By the next day, my lack of sleep was catching up with me. Since another brother stayed that night in the hospital with me and my Dad, I decided to close my eyes for a little bit. Probably about an hour into my shut-eye is when I heard the voices. The cramp in my calf woke me up just in time to hear my Dad gasping for his last breath. I got to hold his hand and tell him I love him in his final moments on earth. I should have slept right through it, but instead something woke me so I could be with my Dad during his last seconds alive.
The voices were distinctly feminine but there were no women in the room and prior to me waking up, nobody was saying anything. I'm sure there are a million logical reasons I could explain away those voices and the happenings of that morning. I was tired. I already admitted that I got very little sleep the prior three days. I must have been dreaming or maybe even hallucinating. Or, maybe...just MAYBE...the voices I heard were Angels. I know some of you are thinking, "Wow, shocker, the Jesus freak thinks he heard angels." However, I wasn't a Jesus freak then, I was an agnostic. So, I did what agnostics (and some Jesus freaks) do, and got stinking drunk.
It wasn't like we pulled out a flask right after my Dad passed away. Our entire family came to the hospital and we all mourned the loss of my Dad. However, eventually you've gotta leave the hospital. One of my brothers thought he'd feel better if he had a drink and wanted to know if my wife and him wanted to join him. Maybe it was just to provide him company, but we accompanied him to the local sports bar which was just opening for the day as we got there. One beer led to another, and then it led to pitchers of beer...multiple pitchers. We watched a college football game, and then another, and then the night game. There was a big boxing match that night and the bar staff was charging everyone additional money to stay for the fight. They knew that we just lost our Dad and just let us stay so we ended up also seeing a good fight that day.
For as many brain cells as I killed that day, I also learned something: the world doesn't care if you lose a loved one, as it is going to continue on. It sounds obvious, but when you are actually in the moment, it doesn't feel obvious. I'm not sure exactly what I wanted people to do, but it seems that considering I just lost my father a few hours ago, they should have done something, but they didn't. So I shared some memories with my brother, held my wife a little tighter than usual, contemplated whether I had heard angels that morning, and had another beer.
Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation? Hebrews 1:14
******************************************************************************************
I don't usually include the comments on the actual post, but these comments make a whole lot more sense in reference to this post vs. standing alone.
************************************************************************************************************************
Tim (brother in CA):
I was in the room and what Tom didn't mention is woke up yelling OW, OW, OW, and we looked at him and asked Tom's what's wrong and why are you yelling, he just grabbed his leg and kind of ignored us and went over to my Dad. Within 30 seconds, my Dad took his last gasp of a breath and then flat lined. After experiencing it, I knew Tom had stopped believing in God and I always felt like it was my Dad giving him a good kick in the shin to say "What are you thinking? All that I've taught you and the way we've lived are lives and been so blessed in so many ways and you are going to stop believing, wake up you FOOL."
Cheers to you Dad, it worked. Tom has changed his ways and is now a believer again.
Rhonda (Nurse in TX)
Very cool. I have stood in many hospital room and known that I was standing on hallowed ground with angels all around. How many times have people woke up for an unresponsive state to talk to noone in the room. Scotty's own grandmother did. Nurses know this, no matter their spiritual compass.
Excellent blog today and I feel the same way. The world does not stop around us and we all wish it did. Thanks for sharing.
Reply to this
I was in the room and what Tom didn't mention is woke up yelling OW, OW, OW, and we looked at him and asked Tom's what's wrong and why are you yelling, he just grabbed his leg and kind of ignored us and went over to my Dad. Within 30 seconds, my Dad took his last gasp of a breath and then flat lined. After experiencing it, I knew Tom had stopped believing in God and I always felt like it was my Dad giving him a good kick in the shin to say "What are you thinking? All that I've taught you and the way we've lived are lives and been so blessed in so many ways and you are going to stop believing, wake up you FOOL."
Cheers to you Dad, it worked. Tom has changed his ways and is now a believer again.
Reply to this
Very cool. I have stood in many hospital room and known that I was standing on hallowed ground with angels all around. How many times have people woke up for an unresponsive state to talk to noone in the room. Scotty's own grandmother did. Nurses know this, no matter their spiritual compass.
Reply to this